How do you honor yourself?

One of the most memorable and learning experiences I ever had is happening this weekend. I invested in getting more training for myself online through a great organization called Motivating the Masses. I am big on learning because it is something to fuel my mind, energize my spirit and remind myself to live a purpose-driven life.

Being part of the membership community of any association whether it’s professional or social can bring meaning and fulfillment outside of your every day life. Forming those social media connections and brand-new friendships in person can be rewarding as well as a type of networking that you can tap into at a later date.

When I was much younger, I didn’t put myself first alot. I grew up where family and culture and community is big. Service to others was always emphasized at church, at work even amongst friends. If someone was hurting or needing advice, I was there. Whether it was 10 am or 10 pm, my friends knew how to reach out to me and I made time for them. Again and again.

What I didn’t realize was that time for myself was getting less and less. I felt that being needed by others would fulfill me. Being popular and the “Dear Abby” of my friendship circle would help others change for the better. It would make me the person I was always supposed to be,right?

Not necessarily.

In the last thirty-some years, I realized that people come and go in your life. There are “fair-weather” friends who are there when times are good (and they are more than happy to spend my money and take up my time) and there are friends who are there for a particular season, which could be the amount of time you stay in a certain job or profession. There are friendships you formed in highschool that are still lasting or just there for the time you were in highschool. There are also the ones who are there for you thru thick and thin, no matter the decades that pass by.

Regardless, who is always with you? well…YOU!

Now you could argue with me and say, ‘Well, Shalei, God is always with you….or your family is always with you.” But I mean, in the darkest hours….when no one else is around….when you’re the last person in the office to lock up….when you are the last person up at night to put away the clean dishes and load the dirty ones. When you come home to an empty house because your partner is gone…..your children are grown and living elsewhere…..or you simply live alone because your cherished pet is in animal heaven.  When you are still, and quiet and behind closed doors and there is a sense of disquiet stirring in your restless spirit.

Do you honor yourself?

Many times when we think of honoring someone, it is usually something formal or solemn. We honor our veterans. We honor lifetime achievement awards to recipients such as celebrities, famous authors or a political leader or even volunteers to a charity. We honor a beloved friend or family member in celebration of the life they had.  But more importantly:

Do you honor yourself?

It is not being full of yourself. It is not being egotistical. It is not self-absorbed. Honoring yourself is appreciating yourself for all you do when no one else notices. So my question again is:

Do you honor yourself?

If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, why not? There is no shame to be acknowledged. There is no shame to be validated. It is important to know that what you do matters. But you have to be the first one to recognize that in yourself. Whether your are over 20, 30, 40 or 50 and older – you are worthy to honor yourself but you need to believe it.

It is easier to encourage someone else of their worth, isn’t it time to renew that self worth back to you? No matter your age, background, experience, skill-set – remember to celebrate your own wins because sometimes, you can get lost in the shuffle of life. You may be overlooked at work even though you work behind the scenes or are sent out to pick up refreshments for a long in-house training or staff goal-setting session.

Sometimes even at a family reunion, everyone else is sitting at another table laughing and enjoying each other’s company, and you find yourself with your own food plate, sitting alone on the couch watching sports….or some other vague television show you don’t even watch. Why are you there?  How is it that you’re forgotten?

Remind yourself that you do matter. Your life counts though you may not give it a second thought. Self-care isn’t just for your appearance or health. Self-care also needs to be tended inside you.  Do you consider yourself worthy enough to love yourself just a little bit more? Of course you should!

So I ask again:  Do you honor yourself? If yes, I applaud you to stand proud that you are true to yourself.

If no, then I encourage you to find out why and keeping asking why until you find your answer.

To love, honor and cherish is not just for married couples.

Give yourself permission to love you right where you are at.

Give yourself permission to honor yourself in the moment, in the present.

Give yourself permission to cherish yourself because you a pearl of great price.

Do you honor yourself?